Thursday, December 24, 2009

calls home

I tend to get a bit distracted from who I've decided to be when I talk to my mom, and revert unfortunately into who I am.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Re: Ha'Way the Lads

For original post, see Jon McLeod's Blog

I think this is an interesting object of study as well. We're always so worried, as audience members, about the actors' feelings that we applaud even when every last thing about the show is awful. I'd love to invite audiences to be honest--in an announcement before the show, in the program, at the end, everywhere--and only applaud if they genuinely got something out of it--excluding a good nap. I hypothesize that we'd still get unwarranted applause, even if the show was deliberately shit-tastic.

This makes me wonder if perhaps Forest Fringe's financial scheme was influenced by this mentality--their approach of collecting merit-based donations at the end of the show may derive from the need to make audience members honest. If a show has a full house but makes £5 in a night--provided the audience comes in prepared to pay--it's a far clearer indicator than applause or even a standing ovation that it could use a bit of work.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

How about?


Or?

Or?

Or?
(no.) Or?

White Elephant, Going Dark, and Other Writing Exercises

(Think about a white elephant.)
4 middle aged ladies
4 wrapped gifts
Christmas.
A flimsy card table.
Wine. Laughter.
Cookies and empty wrappers.
Pink cellophane.
Torn paper.
An unwrapped box.
A necklace.
Crack, wrinkle.
An ugly porcelain figurine.
A scowl.
Laughter.


----


(Think about anything except for a white elephant.)
Cherry orchard. Rotting fruit. On the ground. Wet grass, mushy soil underfoot. Frog pond. Burnt grass. Bzzt. Bzzt. Is that my phone? Who would be calling? Doctor's office? Everyone who knows me would know not to call at this hour. Maybe not mine. Elephant. No. White grass.

----

(A sound journey from a mirror to the night sky.)
Bathroom light. Mirror. Examine face. My face is a map of the night sky. Look, Mars is in retrograde. Did I send that email to mom? To window. Turn stick. Open blinds. Wipe palm on glass. Condensation. Ben must have showered. Where is Ben? Turn, walk out. Tug cord. Light out. Weird British laws about bathrooms. Down stairs. Wobbly handrail. Noise. Garbage cans. Open door. Latch sticky. Look. Neighbor in car. Joyful shouting.

----

Actual Sounds Imagined Sounds

Breathing, light movement of duvet
1 hour early vibration alert on phone
creak of bed, creak of floorboards
cupboard, wardrobe, dresser drawers
Pop
kettle
instant coffee granules in a porcelain mug
door latch
rattling inside?
rain on leaves
rain on me
kids
sploosh
"Ladywell, this is Ladywell."
computer voice's ironic giggle
rustling newsprint
screeching rails
PA crackling to life
PA crackling to life
murmur
dingzzt dingzzt dingzzt
door suction
tromp tromp tromp
only feet
"Hanukkah oh Hanukkah, let's light the menorah, let's have a party we'll all dance the hora."
Bip
"I love you too, I'll see you tonight."
lipsquelch
Bip
tromp tromp tromp
"'Jubilee line, the next train for- Stanmore -will arrive in -2 - minutes."
"Move right down inside the carriage, laydies and gennelmen"
whoosh

All-Day Lecture Series

Liz Lacompte - Wooster Group. New York City, Wooster Street. (aha!)

-Makes aural and visual worlds, then places performances within them. Allows pieces to develop during performance, during run--challenge of not knowing how things are going to work. Never knows what the text will become in the space.
-Whole career feels like one piece she's been working on since she started
-she finishes pieces because they're due, not because she works within a framework for completion
-stages with a feel of a film performance--how does That work?
-she needs to feel that audience and performers don't know what will happen. diverts audience's attention with technology. New Naturalism?
-wants to blend the best experiences of film and theatre.
--I appreciate that she says "we" and not "I"
-Improvisational theatre a lot like good jazz--the musicians have a basic framework within which they work, but beyond that it's all about listening to each other and feeling a vibe, going with the flow you feel in your bones.
-Wants to find a new way of performing. Always.
-Some shows become a sort of dance, very trusting. Must find actors who are willing to take the risk.
-always films accident takes--the first improv is always the best.
-she doesn't want to get an idea of what it means then have the actors tell her that back--she wants to learn something every time. sits in the audience every night.
-Is she mildly religious?
-Has no memory of her time performing except extreme discomfort. Next question.
-her group has no loyalty. it is simply a collection of driven artists.
-All theatre is experimental. She sounds a little frustrated.
-likes moving parts and diagonals. What do I want to see the space do next?
-performers are fearless. Not a fuzzy trust-buildy director--it's a rough process. Those performers who need trust established don't stick around.
-anti-feminist slant. Allows herself a certain ditziness
-doesn't think of herself as a director. she's just the one with the project to get done.

----

Simon McBurney

Making Theatre with Media-with Simon McBurney

he's doing Beckett at night, which is a dark place he has to go to
a photograph is a moment gradually receding into time
theatre--see and hear
place creates meaning. new media is nothing new.
digital technology is merely an extension of existing media. ritual humiliation is a big part of theatre. theatre exists in the present. we don't know what happened in the past, we only know what happens now. film is a medium of the future--it's all about what will happen next.
Devising theatre is a mess--all about human capacities to interpret. We're always looking for a simple answer.
Theatre folk. Why do we all suck at math?
Shakespeare was a collaboration from the start. never just one man.
Linear is not the only concept of time that works.
David Mamet--a theatre company can only exist in its original incarnation for up to 7 years--after that people drift off, start to hate each other, get pregnant, get married, get god, get sick of it, change careers, get famous, change ideologies, change directions, want change, need change, change everything.
muscle of the imagination--pleasing.

----

Katie Mitchell--Virginia Woolf "The Waves"; devising process

First piece--Gobstopper, 1985. About rape.
text-based theatre for 20 years while she wanted to be a deviser, wanted to work fringe, hard to get out of the groove of professional theatre, money, stability
-8 weeks a year for experimentation and study of contributing fields
***The Waves--devised with video and orchestra--any relation to Berkeley Repertory Theatre's 2007 production of To The Lighthouse?***
At the top of your field, it's okay to fail
No multimedia work is being taken on in the UK--recession is bad for experimental theatre. A bit bleak.
Preparation for Rehearsal: chopped 300 page "The Waves" to 40-page structureless "Good bits" edition. Rehearsed with sound guy and composer.
How do we do Thought? How do we bring it to life?
When people are Thinking what are they Doing?
How do we transition from one person's thoughts to the nexdt?
Get actors to come up with thoughts-get everyone to think-Delegate!
Director must always watch and give intelligent feedback.
A director of devised theatre may step back, think, and delegate her genius.
Specialist Study--wants to be a Foley artist when she grows up. Looks like fun.
Jack Stew-Foley artist. Came in with a wheeled suitcase full of crisp packets and high heels.
-Stressed out sound designer.
-Composer rocked out on violins.
-Simon Allen--sound historian, specialist--knows what was played every year of the past 200.
-Cueing live Foley sounds absolutely insane.
-Why don't we have tap dancing?
-P.G. Wodehouse-style notes on the wall, being modified and moved around depending on how good they are.
-establish rules, then stick to them
-gloriously ran out of time.
-Killing fish for the sake of art, fully disheartened actors. "It's really bad direction to get actors that disheartened at that stage. I see that."
-keep the bar very high but be careful with your actors.
-distract actors into doing small tasks instead of memorizing lines
-Little fingers on screen. close ups. crap on stage. finds distortion of emotion and demonstrative action gross. unlike life, horrible, embarrassing. keep the detail without faking it. How much minutiae faking is necessary for devised theatre?
-working for money is not always exciting, but childcare is expensive.
-a Well Made Play--makes the audience believe for a moment that life really can be corralled into order. in an ideal world it all makes sense. there is no room for neat order in reality.
-enjoys studying the endocrinology of emotion.
-Audiences cannot read bodies, but narrative is artificial.
-How do we Make this Genuine?

----
3 talks by people who don't normally give talks
3 good speakers
3 theatre types talking frankly to theatre types
3 honest, enjoyable presentations

practitioners like the rehearsal room, the process--not the presented product.

Caryl Churchill 01/12/2009

I went with my Cultural Landscapes team to a church tonight and didn't get hit by lightning at all.

It was to attend Voices for Bethlehem--the Palestine Solidarity Campaign's annual Christmas concert. It was at Bloomsbury Central Baptist, near Denmark Street, and it was cool.

I was a little concerned as to whether I'd find the place okay, as I'd never been there before and it was late and crowded. I shouldn't have worried, as the row of shouting protesters were very helpful to that end.
Their abuses included such grown-up phrases as "You're just like Hitler," "Shame on you, Baptist church," "This is a Nazi act," "You want to kill us all," and "Israel is for God's chosen people." Several protesters approached me for some mild proselytizing, but a quick "I'm here as an arts student" rendered me worthless to their cause, so I was eventually left at peace.

The reason we came to this event was because Caryl Churchill was going to be there, and had agreed via e-mail to meet with us at intermission to have a quick chat about our project. We'd brought our notebooks and cameras, and were ready to take notes from the moment we sat down. But it was a Christmas concert event, and as I'm a bit of a do-gooder I opted to sing along with the crowd, even though it made me feel like a phony.

The first speaker was a professor at Bethlehem University who made a slideshow plea for financial assistance to keep the school going and keep allowing students from Gaza to get in the doors. She wasn't the best persuader, and used "happy Palestinians!" "Sad Palestinians" imagery and pithy phrases like "They're even keeping some Christians out--the town were Jesus was born and they're keeping out Christians!" to evoke some outrage from the crowd. It wasn't hugely effective--indeed, it was a bit simplistic. But no matter.

The choir was good and the speakers and readers were brilliant. A Christmas story about boots read by David Calder held my rapt attention--what a voice! Then a few more group sings--who knew that the tune for "Away in a Manger" was so different over here? and it was intermission.

Caryl was pleased to meet us and quickly gave us a run-down of her show, Seven Jewish Children, that had caused all the hubbub (and the protest outside)--she'd been getting more and more personally invested in Palestine over the years as she made friends from the area. After attacks in Gaza this January she finally broke and decided to make a statement about it. She wrote a play in under a week. It was 8 minutes long and formless--only a collection of lines that could be read by anyone--and she decided it would be free, any donations would be given to Medical Aid for Palestinians. She submitted it to the Royal Court the following Monday. They approved it by that Friday, began casting the next week, began rehearsals shortly thereafter, and started a run of the show on February 6. Overnight she was labeled an Anti-Semite by a significant number of publications and the Royal Court was protested and boycotted in response by pro-Israeli organizations. (the Royal Court loved the publicity, but did have to issue a statement declaring it a criticism of the Israeli government, not her people or religion.) She mentioned that other theatre-makers had been putting it on around the world--one street-show in Tel Aviv was actually directed from under house arrest via Skype--and she was excited to see the different stagings it had taken on. A show was run very quickly on the street in Israel (it was, predictably, banned in that country) and student groups were taking up the cause in several countries. We chatted for another few minutes, thanked her warmly, and returned to our seats red-faced and giggling with excitement.

Caryl went on to read an essay entitled "Life Here is Worth Nothing" by a Palestinian, and later, "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost, probably just to liven the mood a bit. More song, then a thank-you to Caryl and the other speakers ("without you some people might not have been able to find the place!") and then free mince pie (my first--not bad) and chocolate cake for the walk to the train. The protesters had cleared out, barring one nutter with a sandwich board indicating that the existence of the nation of Israel was a sign of the end of days. I got lost only once on the way to Charing Cross Station and made decent time home from there. It was, all told, a grand way to spend a Tuesday.

Archiving, other notes

The relationship between form and content: The material presented--folk song, dance, and story--was originally recorded using appliances which were cutting-edge at the time but are now so obsolete as to be impossible to find. The fact that we're able to hear it at all today is the result of a multi-generational passing-down through recording technologies as they pass into obsolescence. The songs and dances themselves have been passed in the only way possible--through oral, physically taught tradition. The transference of materials affects their content--audio quality, video/visual decay--and the context of their performance affects the audience's interpretation and its relevance. What technology led to what? How does each recording device affect not only the music's presentation, but the music's ability to be passed on to the next technology? Family tree of technological advancement--just like cousins who chose not to have kids, some technologies' relatives stop after one generation.

----

Rebellion of an innocent in a guilty world...there is no innocence. Separation of self from them--protesting global warming as though you've always lived without causing harm, haven't used electricity, fossil fuels, haven't ridden in a car or used plastics. Don't Uncle Tom me. you're complicit in the world's evils same as me, same as your mother...

----

Artaud-inspired theatre is usually intriguing and typically disappointing.

----

Image of coolness out of hollywood has been bought by young men who wear their trousers so low the are actually hobbled by their clothes. The power of imagery to control the minds of the people. (Is this useful? If they're kids who're inspired to violence and crime by this imagery, then surely having trousers around their ankles makes them easier to catch. I'm sure police encourage this silly type of dress, as it simplifies law enforcement. )

Margins

Focus Groups Don't
Failure is Fine
My husband killed themselves
lets not get into -ists and -isms
What do we lose to fear?
I went to ask a bloke a question about a book I couldn't find.
Health and Safety GONE MAD
A middle went by me. I think I missed it.

RAISING AWARENESS
surely the only reason you know about this is because your awareness has been raised. As you're not an expert on the subject, you're not someone who has studied it diligently and silently for a decade, the fact that you're putting on this show is a testament to someone else's earlier success in this venture.

Ben had the power given to him to trim a notable persons list by 10 pages to make a book fit in the pages allotted to it. He started by cutting entries wherein the notable person was cited for "raising awareness" to make room for people who "did something functional."

One minute with a mirror:

ew ew ew red spotty greasy big pores big spots ow fat chin must be retaining water not normal i'm looking at me looking at me, hair glasses greasy dirty scars dirty ugly so ugly curly hair fat chin fat neck maybe its the angle blue not so big bloodshot not nice
-we never know what we look like to anyone else
-I didn't get too deep, i just spent my time hating on me.
-Oh Naomi Wolf, I've disappointed you.
-It's not my job to be beautiful, I don't have to, I just need to love myself...oh who am I kidding?

Steady
Hold Tight
Keep Safe
Wants Free
Let It Free
Oh JOY
So LIVE
So ALIVE
touch
It loves me
It Hugs me
It hugs Tight
Too tight
TOO TIGHT
It Ensnares
Trapped
Help
HELP
So Tangled
Tight

respond to material/become material

through exertion and playfulness we may explore and remove the body's limitations.

Lecture Notes (c)

The more theatre expands, the more it decides to become avant garde, the more it removes itself from the proscenium arch...the weirder it gets.

-at what point does it stop being Theatre?
-at what point does it stop being Entertainment?

Is this a game, or a play? Follow the directions and you'll be rewarded with the end.

Arrogance, bourgeois mentalities--theatre with narrative is low--theatre people pay to see is common, therefore inferior. But nobody pays to come to experimental weirdness, so keep your day job.

theatre of games. performance can be packaged up and sent out all over the world--can you expose the puppeteer if the puppeteer is nowhere to be found?

-it's ridiculous, but if you agree to play along, is it fun?

It will be there when you're gone--how will it work then?

Open-ended gaming like the Sims, Grand Theft Auto, non-competitive participation--geocacheing, scavenger hunts and the like

1st person voice. How is this ethical? Is it a good idea to have people talking of and about themselves--especially non-actors? This should not be taken lightly.
-What is the impact of forcing someone's hand? Do the experience the side-effects or after-effects of saying "me?" Can it be harmful?
-Is it a documentary or a performance?
-Could this become a way to take over the world?

----

Why can't gay men just be gay men without being caught up in the femininity of being penetrated? I DO NOT DEFINE MYSELF THROUGH SEXUAL PENETRATION. I don't define myself through/of/in relation to/because of my vagina. It's an organ. It's part of my body, like my pancreas. I have sex the way I have sex. I eat a sandwich the way I eat a sandwich. The fact that I have vaginal sex with a man does not define me as myself, or my femininity. I will not be marginalized by gay men with no sexual identity. Gay male sexual identity is just that--gay male. No gay man should feel the need or desire to identify with one or another heterosexual identity, as he doesn't have one. It's an independent entity. They should feel proud of that. But no, instead they piggyback onto someone else's -ism, try to redefine the asshole as the fucking womb. I DON'T HAVE A WOMB. I have a uterus. It's an organ. Not a home. It does not fill me with a sense of comfort or warmth. It is a monthly bio-hazard. A regular inconvenience. It gives me pain because when the cervix is obstructed it constricts blood flow to the area because human evolution has reached a cul-de-sac, not because it inspires in me any great longing for fucking motherhood or completion through connection to the penis.

I recognize biology and psychology are linked inseparably by endocrinology--I have felt on more than one occasion the moment that I metabolized a hunger-released chemical and grew irrationally, violently angry. That's how I react to it, and primal and uncontrolled as that may be, it's part of my physiology. I know the pain and nausea of a sudden adrenalin rush, and the relief that comes after when it turns out to have been a false alarm. I've reached a point in my self-awareness that when I feel bad for no social or easily-identifiable interpersonal reason, I have the ability to retreat into my mind and body to figure out what has led to this feeling. Aha, I'm hungry. Oh, my leg hurts and I've been ignoring it. Oh, fuck, it's that time of the goddamn month. Yes, my reproductive bits do have control over my body and mind. Yes, the fact that I'm female does play a part in who I am. But I refuse to define myself by that. Those urges, those pains, those impulses and emotions and outbursts aren't me. They're a much deeper, animal part of my brain that doesn't give a wet slap about me, who I've decided to be. So I do my best to live around it. Think outside of the female. Think away from the gender. Think only in the relevant. That's not masculine. I only appreciate the emotions and thoughts that come from my conscious mind--the ones that are mine, not those of the species.

Lecture Notes (b)

(unedited.)

allegory/representation--storytelling/narrative: pure abstraction
What are they telling me, what is real, what is super-real?

Certain physical gestures are imprinted, are meaningful or significant in western society--how can this cultural memory affect meaning onstage?

At what point does academic or legal writing become poetry?

The classical form of theatrical representation is absolutely respected--but it is hollow, and like the hermit crab, we may walk around in its empty shell. (who said this?)

Tragedy should be detached from disaster and real life awful occurrences and situations-tragedy implies much more than the slaughter of innocents, but requires the invocation of deadly sin, not just horrible weather or insanity.

The definition of art precludes chaos--art is intentional.
yet inclusion of chaos may be intentional. dramaturgy may include chance.

philosophy and theatre are venues for removal of the mind from the mundane and functional--these areas offer the opportunity to reflect on the nature of being and even to call into question or negate established thinking and concord to that end.

-why do we reject narrative?

why does art seek purity of form--why are we obsessed with escaping representation, when in any instance art IS representation? Are we ashamed of the falseness of art? It isn't real. It won't be. The moment art becomes real it becomes functional, it becomes architecture or product design. A beautifully functional object is an appliance. A tool. A beautifully functional set of movements is a maneuver, not a dance. Analysis of art is the process of shoving your head into your head.

The bauhaus tried to make the human form an abstraction. varying degrees of success. (Surely after a while they gave up and admitted it was dance?) How do you make a human being abstract without hurting them? To what extent is this ethical?

People outraged at what a production isn't--what the observer believes the production failed to do, failing to realize that what wasn't there was never intended to be there.

We must recognize that art cannot be life, and art cannot exist without some medium, some means of communicating itself to the observer. Why then do we belabor the pure form, the medium-free ideal? After a while this becomes a religion--eternal pursuit of an impossible, useless, inhuman, unreal ideology.

If it is real, is it theatre anymore?

When does sensationalism cross the line from catharsis to experience?

Public execution is, or at least historically has been, a form of entertainment. But at the end, the executed does not take a bow. It is real. But is it theatre?

Lecture Notes

(Unedited.)

This course is just a proposition. The documentation represents "my state of ignorance."

Man licking a stone. This is silly.

Between the image and ourselves is the question of meaning.
There is no effort without resistance.

"Man licks rock" is a description. "Desire" implies that the rock represents something, or calls into question the relationship between the man and the object.

The space of language
Enigma is inherent in and inalienable from the artwork itself.
How to make him cringe--ask him what it was about.

Why are you making performance? Engaging, re-articulating the action of performance as what you're tring to explain, the question you're trying to address.

Just keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. Try not to scream.

You have nothing to say. Your work is deliberately meaningless, not because you want to offer your audience the opportunity to extrapolate their own meaning, but because you're vapid.

To suggest that art may stand independently from the interpretation or comprehension of man is to suggest an elephant's ass can stand independent from its ears. Art is not absolute, and art is meaningless outside comprehension, or at the very least man's attempt thereto. Without recognition, sculpture is stone alone. Drama is sound and movement. ART IS NOTHING AT ALL.

Lea Vergine: Body Art and Performance. To what extent is the body expressive? Material expressive?

Oh Gina Pane, you with your sadly relevant name.

The Wisdom of Art. Oh for fuck's sake, answer a goddamn question. Prove to me you're listening at all.

Live performance has an intensity that cannot be found in the inanimate--there is a sense of urgency. (In the case of Gina Pane, the urgent issue is getting a tourniquet positioned.)

The question here is not one of the body as art. The question is at what point does it cease to be art and becomes, or becomes recognizably, the masochistic outbursts of the mentally unwell? To what extent are the products of the insane art? Art is not necessarily with--or without--meaning. To what extent should we study art produced by the certifiably insane? As art, or as diagnosis--as progress reports within treatment?

I'm sorry, I don't feel the artist's pain, and I don't hear the language of the bleeding body. Luckily enough for me, I'm not completely detached from reality.

I'm trapped in the mundane. That's what it is. I find this meaningless not simply because it is without meaning, but because I do not have the capacity to comprehend or value form for form's sake. Can we conclude that no one has said anything coherent in the past two hours? If theatre is an assemblage, does it have a medium? Or Is it a medium? I think it probably is the medium of communication. Now we're watching a film, obviously intended to be film, so as to stimulate discussion of live theatre.

I don't think this guy believes this stuff anymore. He can't align his thoughts because he no longer thinks them.

Staged discontinuity. Pretending it's live, pretending it's real. Theatre is a lie.

Try to trace the shadow of the hand that's tracing. Try it.

Bus?




Brick wall. Bus. Brick wall. Bus. Whack? Crash? Bang. Bricked-over emergency exit. No way out, man. We're trapped here. Trapped in the boredom of a bus. Explore boredom?



These entities have nothing in common.

designed for beauty/designed for function
static historic/dynamic modern
open airy/closed stagnant
floral pastoral/plastic urban
where i'd like to be/where i am--cliche?

Are these blendable?
would a shared T-like space be preferable?
projection? If a 10 minute video of a bus ride is pieced together, could we project it on a brick wall? What the hell would that even mean?

Size--full wall, walk-in? Small to give sense of small--enclosed--but audience is outside, looking in, unlike bus riders, more like people in a garden watching a bus go by. Emergency exit from reality

Bricked over emergency exit. Symbolism? Undesired symbolism? Emergency exit through a hole in the wall?
Floral bus? Realistic flowers/cartoon flowers? Real-natural chairs? Not full sized. No. What can fill in? Feel sense of enclosure, removal from it. Outside an enclosure?

Should we fly it?

Raise it above head-height, use a ladder. Control vantage point of viewing.
Stop motion animation of flowers growing through seats?
Include real dirt?
Utilize over-door exit sign, natural daylight.

Corner Notes: 14 October 2009

Overgrown formal garden, 1700's build. Oxley Woods, off green chain walk, Eltham, Greenwich, 10 AM. Used to be off an old manor house (not currently standing)

Two old men, one with earrings and a small excitable dog, one who fought in WWII with a newspaper and a stack of mail--discuss the history of the area. This tree--see how it leans? That's still here from the hurricane in '87. That was probably before you were born. Good dentures.

The manor house--where that garden is now--had a lady in it who built that little castle on the hill. Had a little cafe in it when I was younger. The city says they want to fix it up, but that'll be lottery money. The government takes 12% out of that in tax! Can you believe that? You play some numbers, try to win a prize, and you get taxed for it!

You can see back here, it goes pink before it goes red. Lovely October, don't you think?

They used to have 12 gardeners here, when I was a lad. Told us to keep off the grass and we did. Now we're lucky if it gets cut at all. At least they cleaned the graffiti off. We think they're getting it ready for 2012.

----Roses past their prime. Some of the bricks have been cleaned. A doorway is newly bricked over. Wisteria grows rampant.----

-Pressed mushrooms, flowers
-Rubbing of bricks (not great)
-isometric rendering of space
-70 photos.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Back in Business

Three weeks into my sister's marriage and two weeks into our new home and we have internet up and running, so I'm going to be catching up. (and posting handwritten journal entries and notes in one huge plop.)

That said, I'm typing this from the school cafeteria. Oh well.